Blanche: [In reply to Dorothy complimenting the lanai] Especially if you like to sunbathe with your top off.

Dorothy: Oh, really? And the neighbours can’t see in?

Blanche: Oh, sure they can.

Sophia: The woman has “slut” embroidered on her underwear!

(Source: thank-you-for-being-a-friend)

Dorothy: [voiceover] At that moment, I was convinced I’d blown it.

Dorothy: [voiceover] I was sure I’d made a bad first impression.

Dorothy: [voiceover] But then I met Rose, and I realized I could have shown up naked…

Dorothy: [voiceover] …playing a ukulele and still gotten the room.

(Source: thank-you-for-being-a-friend)

Rose: I’m Rose Nylund, your new roomie. Blanche has told me all about you.

Rose: Sorry your husband dumped you.

Rose: You can borrow my bubble bath anytime you want.

Dorothy: That’ll help ease the lonely nights. Thank you very much.

(Source: thank-you-for-being-a-friend)

Rose: Listen, if there’s ever a night where you can’t sleep,

Rose: I’ll come by your room and sing Kumbaya.

Dorothy: Rose, I don’t know what to say.

Dorothy: Yes, I do.

Dorothy: Don’t ever do that.

(Source: thank-you-for-being-a-friend)

Rose: [during an argument about who gets which room] Back in Minnesota, we’d settle this kind of dispute…

Rose: … with some good-natured logrolling.

Dorothy: Sorry, Rose. My log is in the shop.

(Source: thank-you-for-being-a-friend)

Rose: [who has just knocked over one of Blanche’s vases] Blanche, I am so sorry. Oh, I’ll buy you another one.

Blanche: Oh, well, don’t feel bad, I never really liked it much anyway.

Blanche: It’s just that my grandmother gave this to me.

Blanche: On her deathbed.

Blanche: She was very, very sick for a very, very long time.

Blanche: I loved her very, very much.

Dorothy: Blanche, why don’t you just grind the broken pieces in her hand?

(Source: thank-you-for-being-a-friend)

Rose: I’d like to invite the two of you to dinner at my favourite restaurant.

Blanche: Well, that’s very sweet of you, Rose.

Dorothy: Well, thank you, Rose.

Rose: Then we’d better hurry, ‘cause the Strawberry Blizzard Special…

Rose: … at the Dairy Queen only lasts ‘til five.

(Source: thank-you-for-being-a-friend)

Blanche: The best way to tell if a melon is ripe is Southern. You thump it.

Rose: Well, actually, roomies, I have the best method - the farm method.

Rose: It works every time.

Blanche: And what might that be, Rose, dear?

Rose: [cuts open a melon and eats some]

Rose: No. Mm-mm.

(Source: thank-you-for-being-a-friend)

Blanche: The Great Herring War?

Rose: You see, they couldn’t agree on what to do with the herring.

Dorothy: Oh, well, that’s understandable.

Dorothy: I mean, the possibilities are overwhelming.

Rose: Exactly. The Johanssons wanted to pickle the herring…

Rose: …and the Lindstroms wanted to train them for the circus.

(Source: thank-you-for-being-a-friend)

Blanche: And Bobby Buck McAllister and I were enjoying a glass of punch…

Blanche: …out on the veranda, when a beam of moonlight hit my cleavage.

Blanche: Suddenly, the band began to play.

Blanche: It was at that moment I realized my bosoms had the power to make music.

(Source: thank-you-for-being-a-friend)

Dorothy: [referring to the reminiscing that happened throughout the episode]  Yeah, and it sure took my mind off of Psycho.

Blanche: Listen, these can wait ‘til morning. Let’s go to bed.

[Sophia comes running into the kitchen wielding a large knife and screaming]

Rose, Dorothy, Blanche: [screaming]

Sophia: [laughing]

(Source: thank-you-for-being-a-friend)

Dorothy: How about some whip cream?

Rose: Mm!

Blanche: I think we still have a can. I’ll get it - it’s in my bedroom.

Rose: Never mind, Blanche.

(Source: thank-you-for-being-a-friend)